How it Ends
by rapid-apathy
Summary: Sometimes you have to sacrifice everything to save what you love.


Title: How It Ends  
Fandom: -man  
Word Count: 1,115  
Warnings: none  
AN: this takes place right after Allen, Cross and the gang return to HQ after that whole ark/musician business and they are sequestered and Malcolm is a shady sumanabitch. For love_bingo prompt "Gone too soon"

OOO

Before it was past midnight he knocked on her door. She opened it slowly and stood behind it only letting one side of her blonde head stick through and asked what he wanted.

Only what you want, he said.

You're endlessly revolting.

He smiled at Klaude and leaned against the door frame with one arm and put his hand on the edge of the door.

Go away, she said.

I don't think so.

He looked inside her room and back to her. Well? he said.

She sighed. Take off your filthy boots.

Alright.

And no smoking.

Alright.

What about them? she said pointing to the men assigned to watch over him.

He looked back to them and said, What do you say, boys? Wanna watch?

She lowered her face and pinched her temples. For Christ's sake Marian.

The men shook their heads no and told him they would be outside the door.

OOO

He slowly pulled on his pants and found his shirt on the floor and put that on too. He took his hat off the bedpost and put it on and squared it and slid his holster also on the bed post off and slipped it over his arm and gathered his boots and walked over to the door. He turned to look back to make sure she was sleeping before turning the knob and with great care swinging the door open just enough for him to squeeze through and shutting it with a soft click behind him.

Outside the door he slipped on each boot without strapping it and kept his holster up on his shoulder and left his shirt untucked and unbuttoned. Evenin', he said tipping his hat to the men and as he walked down the hall to his own room they followed behind.

He pushed open the tall door to his room and closed it behind him and walked across the room to the large bed up against the far wall. He reached in his back pocket and took out his wallet and sat down. In the wallet were just a few bills, three business cards, a matchbook from some skin bar in Paris and a picture of Anita and one of Maria from twenty years ago. He laid each one out on the bed like he was setting up a game of poker. He sat down on the bed next to them and looked at them. He picked up his picture of Maria and looked at it for a long time before putting back. Next to it was his picture of Anita and he picked that one up and stared at it for a long time too. You idiot, he said. Goddamn idiot. He picked each thing back up and slid them all back in their places in his wallet and put it down on the bed and dropped his hat to the floor and leaned over and put his face into his hands.

OOO

He went into the closet and looked up on the top shelf. Few boxes. Some books. He took down one of the boxes and placed it down on a desk and opened it up. Inside some loose papers, recording wires and a recording machine. He took the machine out and held it out regarding it. It looked like it might work still. He took out a new recording wire and put the lid back on the box and put it back up in the closet. He walked back and opened up the spools of the recorder and took whatever the recording that was in there off and threaded the new wire through the feeds. He plugged it in and the small light on the front of the recorder came on. He sat down. He thought about what he would say. He hadn't quite thought of the words only the meaning of what he was doing. There was a bottle of whiskey on the desk and he opened it up and took a small sip directly from the bottle. He wiped his mouth with the side of his thumb and screwed the cap back on. Goddammit, Allen, he said.

OOO

In the morning he had made two recordings giving one to Tim and had gotten his papers in order not bothering to care much to hide anything in there as it all had already been gone through. He burned all his pictures and letters and anything with his life outside this place which wasn't much. He thought about how much he hated it there but he ached to be there at times and how he would never see it again and felt a bittersweet melancholy. Like a beaten child who can't bear to stay but can't bear to leave. He didn't sleep the entire night. He sat and waited for the beginning of getting all it over with.

OOO

You have it?

Yeah. I have it.

I hate it came to this, General.

I'm sure you do.

I promise I will honor our deal.

You harm a hair on his head and you're a dead son of a bitch.

I'm a man of my word.

I'm sure you are.

OOO

When he talked to the boy he told him all he could and nothing he wanted to but never everything. Another recorder was in the room and he never told it anything he hadn't told the other one already.

He knew this was the last time he would ever speak to or see him as much as he knew that he damn well didn't care how but this boy would live and make his own fate. That he loved this boy like one of his own and dying was nothing if it meant he was alright. And that right pissed him off.

OOO

When it came it was a relief almost. Everyone who ever meant anything save this unlucky child was gone and dead. Every dream and plan and hope he ever had for his own life was taken long ago. This entire life he led was thrust upon him and he never asked for any of it and leaving it didn't seem so bad. He was very tired. Had been for a long time. He thought about how he still had so much to do but it couldn't be helped. He carried a will of his own and for the first time he followed it.

And then there was a flash and then nothing.

_AN: but we all know it was a faux death_


End file.
